It’s may and may it is (or it was) the time of me and E. I miss him. Not like how he is now, but how we were then. We were so in love, everything was so beautiful, he was so handsome, so kind and loving, warm, and not to mention, really hot. He was completing my sentences. He was everything to me back then. It was 10th may. He was E and he was mine and I was his. Sometimes I think we belong together, but other times I remember all the bad things in the end and it makes me physically sick. But the first months (especially the first one) were one of the most beautiful, happiest time in my life. I will always remember that. That’s why I still have a folder with every memory of him and us. Because we really loved eachother even though we were teenagers. We loved eachother, and we made terrible mistakes, but maybe in another life, we will get it together. Or maybe in this one. I really don’t know what can happen, after all I’ve been through.

 

10 mai 2014

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We were so great, so fucking great, and now everything is different.

I looked at some past stuff, how everyone was, how everyone felt, we were so young, so fucked up, so.. I don’t know.. it was great.

I’m in a place where I feel trapped, I feel like I can’t get out  of a really toxic stuff, I feel like I am looking elsewhere, I feel like I am doing myself so much wrong for stayin.



At least then, we didn’t care about the consequences, we cared about friendship, making memories and kissing the guy that putted a smile on our faces.

I am so missing that.