19 09

the first time you holded my hand

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I am sorry because I’m happy?

I am sorry because I am starting to do what I want? With who I want? When I want?

I’m sorry because I am trying my best not to fall in depression again?

Fuck you, and fuck everyone who made me cry because I chose to be happy.

“I want living. I want a full life. I want to go to parties again. I want to meet people. I want to build friendships, really strong ones. I want laughter. I want to meet the most funniest people on earth. I want hope. I want to go to my dream city. I want to go to school and not wanting to kill myself just at the thought that I’m going to be surrounded by people I don’t have a connection with.

Maybe this is what I’m really looking forward to: connections. To people, to towns, to places, to earth, to love, to sex, I want to feel 29 days happiness and maybe 2-3 days pain. This is how it was. More good than bad.

I really want to be happy. And now I realised how important is to actually feel happy. Isn’t it sad when you haven’t been happy for so long, you miss it?”