The sad part is that the people who hurt me don’t realise how much shit I know about them. They don’t know that I know what they did to me. They are talking to me like everything is fine and my heart explodes of pain because I didn’t take them for granted. I made mistakes but I always loved them and I cared so much. But they do take me for granted. They look into my eyes and they have the nerve to pretend everything is fine when IT IS NOT.
When I do wrong, I look at them with pain, with regret. With genuine regret and I would give everything to make things right. Only one person in my entire life did that with me. He was genuine sorry as I am right now with him. But now I don’t talk about love, I talk about friends.
Not a single friend was genuine sorry or did something about their huge mistakes.
Friends should be your family. Friends should not be taken for granted.
I guess I was wrong.
The sad part is that I am on a verge of not giving another chance. I gave a million to them. Year after year.
The sad part is that I never give up on a friend. Even if they do me very wrong I still forgive them. Maybe not immediatly but I do.
But right now, I am so naive for believing them.
I can’t live with myself, I cry everyday for how sorry I am of my mistakes. But they don’t even care. Because they think I don’t know about their shit.
At least I know and I say when I am a peace of shit. I regret. They don’t.
Fine by me. I can’t wait to cut mean, selfish, cold people out of my life so the warm, strong, gold hearted ones to come.