Sometimes I don’t want to sleep all night so I can sleep all day and not be hit with the thoughts. Of missing people, of the future, of choices.
Sometimes I think I sleep so much (one day I slept 17 h) because I don’t like reality that much at this point.
I know overthinking is not good but in the present moment I am supposed to. I am kind of obligated. I need to make choices. I need to control my chaos now so that later I can enjoy it at the maximum potential.
I need to do so much but I am being in a tornado of choices. And without deciding, I am standing still. And I hate it.