” -Dacă Dumnezeu ți-ar mai da încă o șansă, ai face altfel?
I-am răspuns că da, dar ca să fiu sinceră, nu știu. Știu doar că inima mea este astăzi un oraș fantomă, locuit de pasiuni, entuziasm, singurătate, rușine, orgoliu, trădare, tristețe. Și nu reușesc să mă eliberez de nici unul dintre aceste sentimente, nici măcar atunci când mi se face milă de mine și plâng în tăcere. ”
“In a constant struggle in wanting to forget you but at the same time clinging on to my memories of you”
“Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence. When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss. You will never forget them. However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news. They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound. It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character. The people you lose remain a part of you. Remember them and always cherish the good moments spent with them.”
“Please don’t give up.”
“Of course. But please don’t ask me to have hope. Hope hurts, and I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
All of us live with a demon inside. Some days you control the demon. And other days it controls you. And it is always hungry. It feeds on lust and longing. And while you may slumber, the demon never sleeps. It tempts you into crossing every line you’ve ever drawn, all the while it tests you, haunts you. And once it has turned your loved ones into enemies, the demon has consumed you whole.
There’s a saying in my family. Kill a demon today, face the devil tomorrow. Yet even as you dance on that demon’s grave, you can’t help but wonder, was that demon alone? Or do you have other, deadlier ones to fight? And though you celebrate having won the battle, have you really prepared for the war? So as we dress ourselves in teh armor needed for this new fight, we must first tend to our wounds, starting with the deepest.
“There must be some kind of way out of here
Said the joker to the thief
There’s too much confusion now I can’t get no relief
No reason to get excited
The thief, he kindly spoke
There are many here among us
Who feel life’s but a joke
But you and I, we’ve been through that
And this is not our fate”