Dear E,

I mis you. I am pretty sure you don’t read this and never will but I will give it a go.

I miss you a lot and maybe I miss what we could have been. I know you really hurted me and I hurted you too, but I still miss us. I miss you a lot because you were my bestfriend. Nobody knew me or knows me how you did. And maybe it applies for you too.

I miss everything about us even the fights. Because in the end we were we. We were forever.

But you screwed up so bad. I still cry sometimes late at night because we could have had EVERYTHING if you would have appreciated me more.


It doesn’t matter. Now you are with someone else and I am hoping you are trully happy even if it means to be happy with the whore of our relationship. I really do hope you are happy, because I wasn’t in the relationship after you. It is really hard for me to open up again to someone after you. Because you saw my soul, my heart, myself so raw and you pissed on them big time.

But I still miss you like crazy (I sometimes see something and I think of you but we cannot talk and it makes me cringe). I just hope you see this so you know I wish you the very fucking best and I do not hate you anymore. I forgive you for everything. And mybe you forgave me as well.

You are (or were) a gold heart. I know this. I loved the shit out of you and I think I still love you.

Not like before. But I do love you, because it is so much history with us and we had such a strong connection and I felt it even after the break up, when we met at the collage hallways.


But it ended and maybe was for the best. I really believe this.


I’ve changed so much, you would be proud of how I am today. I am so confident, I am calm, I am not doing anything that I don’t like, I beated depression. But this change didn’t affect how I feel about you.


I am sure you are changed too. I hope that slut (Sorry, I am still going to say the truth) is making you a better man, a better version of yourself, a happy kiddo.


If you read this, I strongly believe you would laugh, but maybe it is a part of you that feels what I wrote.


15.(oh and I always catch our hour)


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