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“What you seek is seeking you.”

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I am sorry because I’m happy?

I am sorry because I am starting to do what I want? With who I want? When I want?

I’m sorry because I am trying my best not to fall in depression again?

Fuck you, and fuck everyone who made me cry because I chose to be happy.

18th June,

You lost me so bad, you lost me, you destroyed me, you fucked me over so much, I couldn’t do the same bad to you even if I tried.

This day was the day when I lettted go. For my sanity, for my happiness, for my fucking worth.

I loved you oh my god how much I loved you.. and you screw it up..BIG time.

I will always love you because when you love someone, you love them forever. Not in the same way. But you’ll always be there.. unfortunately.

Even the people I hurted, they told me I was a good person.

Everyone that knew me, they were sure I had a good heart.

It was not a single human that told me I am a really bad person.

So why the hell you treated me like shit?

I don’t mean cheating. I mean how you spoke to me. How you never apologised. How you made sure that after 2 years I had not a single drop of confidence in myself. How you made sure that I couldn’t have my friends. I lost my fucking friends because of YOU. And they were the most important thing in my world, they were family. …How you loved me in such a toxic way.

My bestfriend told me you were toxic (and she never told me shit about my boyfriends).

My ex bestfriend told me you were toxic.

My mom told you were toxic.

Your fucking friends told me you were toxic (your old friends, not the one’s that saw just the good).

My FUCKING manicurist told me you were toxic (how bad is that?)

Even God told me you were, he made sure I was hurt by you everytime I gave you a chance.

I really believed you were the love of my life. This sounds so silly. The love of my life would actually care not to hurt me. Would love me in such a good really good way. Would make me so damn happy.
Don’t get me wrong. You’re an amazing person. You really are. You have a heart of gold..

But I don’t know how, you barely showed that to me.. And I know you “tried” in your way to get me back.

If I actually was the love of your life (and you told me that), you were so so so so so so stupid to lose me.

Anyway, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was never the girl for you, otherwise you would have treated me how I deserve.

It sounds bad, but I am so proud of myself for letting go..and girls, if wanna of them reads this, DON’T STAY when your heart says TO RUN.

 

Good luck E, and oh, the way things go, you’d be surprised how karma is coming back to you. Not revenge, but karma.

“C**ie, esti superba”

 

“Se profita de tine”

 

“FRATE tu nu intelegi ca esti o tipa extraordinara care poata sa aiba lumea la picioare daca vrea?”

 

“Tu nu intelegi pentru ca iubesti, dar ai suferit prea mult, ascult-o pe manechiurista ta si gata”

 

“Mereu vei fi bae”

 

“Stii ca imi ascund sentimentele, dar te iubesc si stii asta. -Stiu. -Atunci? -Am obosit sa sufar”

 

“Nu ma pot concentra, nu pot sa invat pentru bac, pentru ca tot ce fac e sa plang pentru ca stiu ca nu mai pot, stiu ca trebuie sa se incheie, dar doare prea mult”

 

“Letting go is sometimes less painfull than staying”

 

“Am auzit ca m-ai inselat cu aia in fiecare zi in ultima saptamana, si stiu asta de cateva luni, si totusi lumea nu realizeaza ca INCA doare”

 

“Si el e ranit, si pe bune dreptate”

 

“Eram atat de indragostita de tine, era INCEPUTUL, si totusi ai preferat sa saruti buzele unei curve. I-o datorez Anei de atunci sa vreau pauza, stop, ce o fi”

 

“Ce vrei? -Am nevoie de o pauza. -Nu vreau pauza. -Si eu nu mai vreau sa sufar”

 

“Doar pentru ca ala ti-a spus si il crezi, vrei sa ne oprim? -Nu, pentru ca chiar daca nu era faza de la bal, tot stim ca in ultimele luni m-ai ranit exact cum mi-ai promis ca nu o s-o mai faci. Mi-ai promis ca te schimbi. Mi-ai promis ca nu o sa uiti sa imi arati ca ma apreciezi. Ar trebui sa fii fost in genunchi dupa ce-ai facut, dar nu ti-a pasat cat ma durea”

 

“Nu puteam sa iti spun asta, erau ei 2.”

 

“Sunt om de onoare. -Si eu. -Macar noi.”

 

“Te iubeste, asta e foarte clar, doar ca frate.. e prea mult”

 

“Ai acceptat pentru ca il iubesti, e normal”

 

 “Daca te respecta, nu facea toate lucrurile astea”

 

“Nu vreau sa te pierd iar. -Nici eu. Luni de zile te-am implorat sa lupti pentru ca ma PIERZI, de atatea ori ti-am spus asta. Si ai decis ca esti dragastos si ca iti pasa doar cand vreau sa plec? -E in natura omului sa nu aprecieze o persoana suficient debia cand o pierde si isi da seama ca e prea extraordinarä persoana aceea”

 

“Ce faci? -Continua sa dormi. -Plangi? -Continua sa dormi. -De ce plangi? -Pentru ca nu vreau sa pierd ce suntem. -Nici eu.. -Plangi?”