People fucked me up so bad and then I wonder why the fuck I can’t get close with anyone new. I don’t know how to make friendships anymore. Maybe because I am too scared to be fucking betrayed and lied like I once was. Maybe I forgot.

 

I just know I want someone. Something. People change I got that. But they changed with a full hand of friends.

I didn’t.

 

And maybe for once I ask for happiness. To be truly happy and have a good life. With laughs. With good people. With great people. With the love of my life. With my familly. Happy. No stressed.

I really want to have these. And I worked so much for the wrong people. I sufferred so much even my mom doesn’t know how many times I was on the edge to gave up on the life she gave me. I had scars for so long. I had tears in my eyes and no one saw them. Or they did AND they did NOT said a word. The same people for whom I was there.

 

And maybe I’m still fucked up. Just because I’m comfortable with my own emptiness it doesn’t mean I want it. I detest it.

I have so much love to give and still  it doesn’t matter.

 

whatever, cheers to my such a great highschool experience

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